Happiness

So, here we are on a rainy night (The song “I love a rainy night” by Eddie Rabbit keeps running through my head). Despite the grim and dreary weather outside, I find myself in high spirits. Jeff is off in Illinois for orientation for a new trucking job with Tennent Truck Lines… and though I do miss him, I find my mind occupied with happiness. This is a first for me, as I’m sure you, my reader, are well aware.  These past months have left me feeling bitter and twisted in a melancholy way that only depression can. One thing after another seemed to be happening, beating us (Jeff and I) down into utter submission.  I have fought my way free of this as I read a good book and listen to uplifting music. My mom has also been a substantial aid in this transformation.  She let me borrow this book, you may have heard of it as a movie… called “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I can so relate to her feelings… the failed marriage… the doubt and struggle that she goes through in order to become closer to God. In addition I have turned my attention to a band from the 90’s that I used to listen to ALL the time when I was in private school, The Waiting, a Christian rock group. I have searched high and low for the old tape that I used to have of theirs, but it seems to elude me. Thankfully, there is iTunes. I found the album! Now… as most of you know, I am no Christian.  I don’t profess to be, but sometimes I like to sing songs that praise God. So, I downloaded the album and have been blissfully caught up in the words and praise to Our Father in Heaven.

What a difference this mindset has created in me! I see love everywhere; I feel it now, more than ever. I had foreseen this time that Jeff would be gone as dark and miserable… and I have been entirely floored at the happiness that simply wells from me. I feel the creative side that has eluded me for years swelling in the anticipation to write again. To create something out of nothing, whether it be cooking, which I hate, writing, singing, dancing, or just plain dreaming of things to create.

This is a truly exciting time for me. I’m looking for a job again, the first time in years. I want to get out and see people, to interact with other people, and spread the love that I feel swelling from within me. Whether it be with a shoulder to cry on, or a simple smile, I want to share it. SO EXCITED!!!

Also, I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving here in the states. Mine was phenomenal.  Light, and love.